Monday, January 28, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
I hate not getting home til late. I hate that its dark when I drive home and my headlights suck ass.
I miss watching kids in my home. I miss being home and doing laundry/cleaning when it needs it, having dinner in the oven at a normal time, cooking meals from scratch (not these bullshit boxed meals), I miss a lot. Don't get me wrong I love my job and I love the babies I keep.. most of all love spending the day with my mom. On the way home tonight I cried because I'm overwhelmed with bills, money (or lack of), and coming home to fix dinner, help with homework, laundry, dishes, bathes, Camo, picking up.. etc. Granted I'm a hormonal mess Thanks to being a woman and getting that lovely gift every month that should arrive any day now... Unless for some God given miracle..that I've been blessed with a baby.. but I doubt that and have taught myself to be okay with it if every month is another fail. In all honesty I'm not sure if I want to bring an innocent child into this scary ass world. I miss the world I lived in as a child. You watch a home video of us outside playing back in the 80s and everything was peaceful, calm, slow moving. The trees were fuller. The grass was greener. The streets were quiet. I wish things were still like that. Yes there was violence (not in the home videos lol) but it was resolved with a punch to the face.. not a murder or stabbing. Now all you hear is shootings, stabbings, etc. Over what??? Pointless, petty, silly stuff. Why would anyone wanna bring a baby into this crazy ass world that gets scarier by the minute. But then again I long for a daughter.. or another son is just fine too. Just a healthy baby. If God willing I do bring an innocent child into this world I promise to protect it with my all til the day I die.. miss the whole concept of SAHM/W (Stay at Home Mom/Wife) the staying at home part. I'm still at available to both my son and husband at all times though. I've never been a working mom. Even when I work at a job away from home which was a daycare.. Kobe came with me. Some moms love being a working mom.. but not me. I love being a SAHM. I think thats what I was made for. Kobe asks me several times if he can go to BR school.. if I could find a few kiddos around her I'd be set. When I worked at Kobe's school for *Elf Store* when I told the other moms where we lived they were floored that, 1. I drive the distance to bring him in to that town and 2. that I was NOT sending him to BR. I heard "WHAAAAT?? Are you crazy?"... "If I HAD a choice BR would be IT" "BR is an EXCELLENT school"... I was such a mess last year. I only had a couple weeks to decide what school. I was pressured lol and didn't have time to weigh my pros and cons. I'll have my whole summer to weigh them. Kobe has a cousin (Jason's nephew)and a friend who go to BR so he'd know a few ppl. Plus he makes friends so easy. But I'm not gonna stress over it ... yet lol keeping my options open.. btw I LOVE my house and where I live even though the closest grocery store is 7miles away and the closest Wal*Mart is 14miles away I still love it... Idk maybe I'll go take a hot bath and relax/destress...sigh!! I'm not sure this blog has a point lol but that's why I said "ramblings from a mother of a 6yr old" lol .... p.s. that will be changing soon to "7yr old" in a few weeks :'( ok I'm heading to my huge bathtub to soak and relax...
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
What a fun way to ring in the New Year, with my amazing family and the world's best group of Friends.
Jason and I hosted our 2nd Annual New Years Eve Party at our house. I love entertaining guests!! I just wish I had more money to do everything I want! We had a pitch in.. appetizers style lol. Everyone brought an appetizer, some brought 2 or if your my pregnant sister you brought 4 (I think her cravings got to her in the store lol).
After we ate we played a board game called "The Logo Board Game"
It was very fun and we had lots of ppl so we just did Boys vs. Girls of course us ladies dominated the males lol which were very sore losers lol. After the game ended it was almost midnight so we got ready. Filled the kids fancy glasses up with sparkling Apple Cider
And waited for the clock to strike midnight!!!
A few people cleared out after midnight.. but that didn't stop us partiers lol. Adam, Kelly, Jessica, Matt, Jason and I were hit with party #2 lol(the 2kiddos played in Kobes room). Which included more laughing and us ladies dominating the guys once again in Battle of the Sexes.. finally about 3am the sober party of 2 lol left to go home and the drunk party of 3 crashed at our house. We had such a fun night! Lots of laughing and a tons of fun!!