One pissed Momma

Kobe had a follow up appointment today with his doctor.. We tried a non-stimulant drug.. Well after 2.5 weeks of taking it he was very violent and very frustrated.. also started having a bowel movement in is pants again.. like before he was Dx with ADHD.. I told him all this.. Well after I left the doctor with Kobe I was in tears.. his doctor made me feel like I was a worthless mother that is a complete idiot.. he talked to me like I was stupid... he told me that he needs to take breaks from the meds so his brain and body can grow (I understand this) He says in a shitty, your stupid tone, "This is YOUR child and HIS health" I said I understood but what about his BMs when he isn't on the meds.. he says once again the same tone as before, "His poor potty training is not because of the ADHD" I told him the Dr. we saw before him and his psychiatrist(who Dx him with ADHD) both said it was because of his ADHD that he was having these BMs in his pants.. he says (same tone) "I am the pediatrician, I know that isn't the reason. You need to see a child gastrologist" "You don't give a child these meds because he has poor potty training habits" I said how the past Dr did tests.. and he snaps and says "I'll refer you to Indy" then says "Anything else?" I said how he had been talking really loud lately and we have to repeat things and I wondered if something was going on with his ears.. so he gets up to look in Kobe's ears. Kobe was sitting on the exam table playing his DS quietly, he looked in one ear and then in a shitty ass tone "HEY look at me, when I'm doing an exam, you don't play this" and ripped the DS out of his hands and laid it down on the table.. said his ears were fine. hands me the papers and walks out.. I don't know if he was showing off for the cute little student nurse or someone pissed in his cheerios or he hates me... I dunno but I'm pissed.. THIS coming from the man who would walk in the room ask what he took, write the Rx and leave, this coming from the man when Kobe's Rx was soo hard to get just wrote a Rx for a different meds no questions asked.. Why all the sudden play Super Doctor?? Why care now.. I am so sick of these wishy washy doctors who one says one thing and the next says the other.. Don't they get the same schooling??? I'm at a loss... I have his psychiatrist (who speacialized in ADD/ADHD children telling me one thing and now he's telling me another.. When Dr. Amy was his doc we all were on the same page.. they made me feel like I was doing the right thing in getting my son help and BOTH said Kobe wasn't the kind child who could take "breaks" because of 1. his ability to process the whole BM thing 2. for every day life concentration.. Its bothering me so much I don't know what to do.. I don't know who to listen to.. I'm considering another doctor.. why I even came back to this Dr after what all happened when Kobe was 9mos.. UUUUUGH... I just want to cry and scream.. I wish my son didn't have to go through any of this.. I've tried cuttin out reds and yellows and all that mambo jambo.. now I hear ppl say cut out whites.. Whites?? geeze louise  I'm so confused, I feel helpless, I feel WORTHLESS, I feel like Im not doing my Mommy duties...