I can only bite my tongue for so long..

I just don't get it. Why are kids so mean? Why is okay to be "joking" constantly.. When someone calls your hair "gay" or you a "baby back bitch" (what does that even mean??) Why is this going on in the 4th grade? Why do kids have to be so harsh? Why is this happening to MY son? There are moments I wish I didn't work at Kobe's school like the other day when a kid asked me if he could "punch Kobe in the face?" I was appalled this kid even asked me.. who does that?? another day I watched a kid kick Kobe while standing in line to leave the classroom. I always taught my son not to do it back or stoop to their level. I being the "good" mom.. the "ideal role model".. yesterday said to Kobe.. "next time he calls your hair gay, tell him his face is gay!" then my 10yr old says to me "Mom, you don't do that.." I said I know.. I know..(I regretted saying it the moment it left my mouth but I was pissed/hurt) damnit I've taught him well.. but today when my son pulls me aside in the cafeteria and tells me kids were talking shit(he didn't say this word haha) about his new shoes.. then pulls this 3page  note out of his pocket that he had wrote over  and over scribbling out words that weren't right and rewriting  them over and over til he got it right.. it broke my heart reading it. I am trying my hardest not to cry in a room full of 100+ kids.. I asked Kobe.. "what is this?"

"It says I don't care what people think I don't care if you make fun of me, my shoes, my hair, my clothes, and my personality. I don't care if you make fun of my handwriting. I don't do this stuff to please you."

He told me next time someone says something to him this is what he is going to say to them. Made me proud and sad all in one.. I just wonder what goes through his mind.. What does he think about constantly?? When he comes home crying night after night it makes me furious. Honestly I feel that no matter if I go to the principal at school it won't stop this. It might even make it worse possibly. When I asked the kid why he made fun of Kobe's hair he went up to Kobe after and asked why he told his mom. These kids don't care who says what to them. I'm over it. I would love to pull Kobe from school and home school him.. but I can't protect him for the rest of his life. There are times I think "they are kids, let them work it out themselves" but its hard for me to sit back and watch.. I don't even know if what I'm typing is making sense. I just feel so raged and upset I can't think straight half the time.

I am a very protective mother and It is ok for ME to say something negative to/about my child but its NOT ok for others to say it lol.

 Now I'm not going to sit here and act like my son's perfect and he doesn't do anything bad because that would be lying. I'll be the first to admit he is a hard headed butt. He gets in trouble a lot at home and at school some.. I've caught him using cuss words while talking to his friends, Doing things that he shouldn't. But my kid, NO kid, should have to go through this crap at school with mean kids. Grrrrrrrr... well now that I have that off my chest I think I'll post a new blog a little happier lol

p.s. I know I have horrible grammar, spelling, punctuation, and all that but thats me and its my blog soooo like it or leave it haha Love yas!